How My Beliefs Were Born

Deep End Delight: Salami Cheese. I've never decided if I like the stuff or not. It's mild colby or cheddar with bits of salami in it, if you've never had the chance to try.

Anyway, all this deep talk lately has inspired me to post about my belief system.

I think one reason I tend to be tollerant of other's beliefs is because my current beliefs are quite different than those I grew up with.

My parents were closet racists. Every once in awhile, the N word would slip out. They grew up in Peoria IL and had my oldest sister when school integration was happening. The didn't want her to go to an integrated school with so many "Ns."

So they picked up the family and moved to a tiny Wisconsin farming community. I recall one black/African American family in our town. Everybody knew & liked them. It was pretty clear though, that us girls should never bring home anything but a white boy. We didn't directly talk about it, but they'd tell stories of old family friends having daughters that married "some Mexican" or other ethnicity.

But it was the 90s & I had MTV and Rolling Stone. I thought different was cool. Hip Hop was popular, homosexuality and AIDS were the big social issue and I considered myself very accepting of all cultures/sexual orientations, etc. Ironically, to my knowledge, I never met a homosexual person and had VERY limited contact with any person from a non-white background. Finally, at 16, I started to gain more exposure as I traveled to Washington D.C. and even around the state independently.

I finally had enough experience to challenge my dad on some of his sterotypes and I think he realizes it's not cool to say that stuff around me, or others, even if I didn't change his beliefs.

I went through a time when I think I became a little more racist inside. I was spending a lot of time in Milwaukee. I noticed my line of thinking was changing...assuming black poor didn't care enough to have jobs...that we all have the same opportunity, etc. Through some college courses and just growing up, becoming more aware of the realities of life, I realized I can't just look at those issues based on race. It's largely a socio-economic.

And then there is politics. My mother was Republican and my father was a democrat. I don't recall them talking about it, at least in front of us. My father was a high school grad & mom was a high school drop out. High brow conversations weren't the norm and we didn't live in an area that was obviously effected by the economy unless it had to do with farming. The only political education I received was from tv, newspapers and a few high school courses.

I always identified more with my mother's life and therefore always assumed the Republican side was the right side for me. I identified reasons why, but they were naive and not based on real experience. When I became an age where I was directly impacted by many policies and through college and working for state government, I became much more educated and aware of how policies effect everyone. I find myself more candidate stance/issue oriented than identifying with any party now.

And religion....My mother was a non-practicing Methodist & my father's family was strictly Catholic. Until I was about 10, we went to a large Catholic church most Sunday's and had Sunday dinner at my paternal grandmother's house. I was never taught much about my religion, although I went to CCD classes and had my first communion. The only thing that sticks with me is learning about The Good Samaritan and learning my Hail Mary's and The Lord's Prayer. Well, and standing up & kneeling a lot in church. And the monotone, yet bellering Father during services. At about 10 years old, I recall my father and his mother having a falling out, but didn't know about what. We quit going to church.

I grew up religiously ignorant. I went to some youth group activities and a few church services with a teenage friend, so got to see another religion at work. However, I really didn't understand it all. In college I examined a few other religions loosely (often in culture based courses). Then I married into a family of Methodist ministers. I studied up a little bit. I found the bible to be a good story, with some consistencies over cultures and other religions, but don't buy into it. After some soul searching and self-education, I've discovered I'm agnostic. I haven't told Chris's family, but Chris knows. I'm certainly not the most educated on the subject, so can't call anyone else's beliefs in their higher power ridiculous. The only thing I feel strongly about is that the Bible was not meant to be taken literally.

In short (ha), I think my family, generation and physical location shaped so much of who I was and see how similar circumstances can color others opinions & beliefs. I can only hope I'll continue to learn & grow, and hope others have that same stance.