I know I shouldn't let this bother me, and other people's choices aren't my business. BUT, I'm trying not to sink into a Christmas funk as I'm shopping for gifts.
The sheer extravagance of gifting is bumming me out. A Kindle, and Ipad, Iphone, a $300 gaming system, etc. It seems more and more commonplace. Even to buy a video game is frickin $50. And then you want to give more than one thing, so you end up spending hundreds.
Sure, these are great gifts. And if you don't splurge the rest of the year and can afford to splurge now, great! I just feel this pressure that I hate. And I worry that if I don't give the fancier gift, they'll see what I got them as "clutter" (like I view the .50 garage sale items MIL buys us). Thus, I've been trying to do more consumable items. It's just all causing me some low-level, weird internal stress this year.
The good news? We (BIL & SIL, Chris and I) decided to approach MIL about donating to charity instead of buying gifts this year. Each year we'd rotate who picks the charity and send off an envelope. This was mostly meant to curb the crapola garage sale trinkets she spent money on for us each year. Instead she can take that $30 and put it towards a charity, and we can do the same. And she doesn't always like what we get her. She claims the Under Armor we got her makes her cold, she couldn't figure out the camping lantern and proclaimed it "broken" (when it just needed new batteries instead of the 10 year old rusty ones she put in), etc. Still, she said she bought us some gifts throughout the year, so great, more crap. *sigh*
I also just inquired about volunteering at the local nursing home. It's been on my to-do list for a few months and maybe it will help me with my mood.
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8 comments:
I am of the firm belief that extravagant gifts are only for children, from their own parents or grandparents, and they just need 1 or 2 in total - not a big ticket, electronic item in every box.
I like your idea of consumables, altho I have received quite a few things in that category that I thought sounded too uninteresting or creepy to make & just threw them out. So that's a possibility.
Did you ask about frozen cookie dough somewhere? I seem to remember that from my catch-up reading. My mom froze cookie dough all the time. She said that it worked fine so long as you didn't have to roll and manipulate the dough after it thawed, because that sometimes changed the texture of the cookie. So she rolled the raw dough into a log that could just be cut into individual cookies after it thawed. I think she was particular about thawing the dough for 24 hrs in the frige before trying to even cut it. So we kids used to sneak raw dough at about hour 18 and save her the bother of cooking!
Good luck with the MIL. I say let her buy the crapola trinkets. Maybe it gives her a fun reason to haunt garage sales year round - and that's your real gift to her!
You, the BILs and the SILs should consider just going cold turkey on gifts for each other. Or make individual gifts to a food bank or something. Or exchange equal value, useful things - like a wall calendar or restaurant gift card.
Sending a "joint" monetary gift to a charity could also get competitve. I know I dislike giving to some charities (like, super religious ones) and would hate if someone picked such a place to send "my" money! (What would your very christian MIL pick?)
Aren't you glad I'm back with so much useless advice? My gift to you. :P
The checks will be anonymously put in an envelope, so if MIL picks a super religious charity, $5 from Kim and Chris it is!
I agree that we need to consider going cold turkey with BIL & SIL. I thought about approaching the idea with them and FIL about doing a big dinner out at a nice restaurant instead, each paying our own bill. We all love dining out and it would be a treat for us all.
My family is pretty easy. For kids we spend $15-25 each and that will end when all are 18. Eight more years, I think. Ugh. They are at the age when gift cards or cash are preferable. My sisters get about $25 each worth of stuff-some practical, some fun. My dad usually gets consumables or a shirt.
And yes I asked about frozen cookie dough. Thanks for reminding me and giving advice. Great gift for SIL.
I'm only going to lecture you about one thing here, and it's not really a lecture - the spirit of the charity giving. I do think it's a great idea. If your MIL chooses a super religious one, I say don't do the $5, but do what you would have done in the spirit and perhaps in her name. Or in the alternative, give the difference to a charity of your choice.
The first year I was with Michael, we bought gifts for everyone in his family. And it wasn't a joint gift, it was something from each person. That was way too much.
The next year we drew names. I liked that, and I think we did it one other time.
Lately we have been just buying for the kids, and I'm about to put an end to that as well. Not to be a grinch, but it's too much. His nephew has three kids, one of whom is his wife's child from another marriage, who lives in a another state.
I'm about to fork out $500 - my cost - to have work done on my truck. Good thing I sleep with my mechanic. :)
*snort* That last part made me laugh, Boo.
Ok, you are right, I do need to have a more open mind about this charity thing. I appreciate the challenge. I have a feeling MIL won't do anything over the top controversial. And if she does pick one that bugs me too much, I'll take your advice and privately donate the difference to a similarly-focused charity.
I think once the first neice and nephew turn 18 (two more years!), we should start drawing names.
Does this mean you aren't buying me an ipad?
*kick* *giggle*
I'm so very happy I don't have oodles of siblings and nieces/nephews. I spend enough money on one brother, one SIL, and two grown nephews.
And myself. Of course.
We don't do gifts anymore. We used to pick names so we'd only have to buy for one person. The kids always got gifts, but small ones. How about white elepants that are wrapped and everyone brings and receives one, sight unseen? Everyone will be equally unhappy, but it'll be fun to watch them open the gifts.
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