2015 Local Travel Bucket List

Stout Island Lodge http://www.stoutsislandlodge.com/ Kohler Food & Wine Milwaukee Art Museum Kayak Apostle Islands Paddleboard in Madison Kenosha Beer fest Farm dinner Cento and Sujeo AJ Bombers, Solly's, Sobelmans Wolskis Pedal Tavern Concert at the Orpheum or Majestic Jim Gaffigan

Birthday month update

36. Hm. I don't feel one way or another about it. I think the next few will be harder as I creep towards 40. I spent the weekend with my friends that are all two years older than me. We compared hands. In two years, my hands will begin to look older. I compared my hands to my oldest sister who is 10 years older than me. We also looked at her aging neck and chest. When her oobies come together, there's a wrinkle pit. So, yuck. I'm not going to fight it, but I'm not going to be pleased about it, either. 2012 was an ok year. Chris and I are doing well. We have fun together and have worked out some communications issues. He's dealing with his anxiety issues better, and I'm learning how to prevent a full blown anxiety attack if it is anything I can help control. I felt slightly "emotionally numb" last year. Feelings almost took too much work and I sometimes half-listened to things coming out of people's mouths because I sincerely didn't care. I'm trying to crawl out of that in 2013 and pay more attention, feel more. Career decisions are looming for me. I work as a long term care researcher and program manager at a major university, but it's not where I want to be forever. My boss will retire in the next 5-8 years, I think. I would like to embark on something new when she's getting ready to slow things down here (a lot of faculty sloooowly retire in the last few years, which means less work for me to do). So, I'm going to study to become a nursing home administrator. I've worked with nursing homes for the last ten years, so it's a good fit for me. The first step for me (which isn't required, but will help with my current and future jobs) is to become a CNA, even though I never plan to work as one (aside from my required clinical time to become licensed). I'm traveling a lot for work now, so it wouldn't be until fall. I'm still trying to decide on the best course of action for studying to become a nursing home administrator. I'm looking at certificate programs since I already have my BS and MS in other fields. I then have to figure out how to get 1,000 of on-the-job-training in, but I'll have time to figure that out, and the industry has been creative with helping candidates get the required number of hours. On other fronts, I want to bike more this summer.

Thank yous

Back to frivolous posts. Every year a group of men invades our house for four days of March Madness. I'm usually gone for part of the time, but since it was also Chris's 40th birthday this year, I stuck around. It's pretty much beer, basketball, ESPN, food, and being lazy for 3-4 days straight. I had to work part of Thursday and Friday, so it did give me a little escape. His brother is a vital part of Chris enjoying this weekend. His brother has been a little flaky in the last year. He has a job as a resilience trainer for the military now and travels a lot. He's been pretty incommunicado. He said he couldn't commit to the California trip we are planning this summer (Chris wanted to plan a trip with friends because he's had some health scares--as have other friends--and life can be cut short before we know it) and that really hurt Chris. So, I was a little worried he'd flake out on the weekend. But, he came through with flying colors. He came on Thursday morning and was upbeat all weekend. I don't really know if Chris liked his presents (the pig class upcoming with his brother, the Pearl Jam dvd, the Ten Club membership with promises to get tickets to a fall show). He sucks at thank yous, so it's hard to tell. That hurts a little. How are you with thanking people? Do you have any lousy thankers in your life?

Reflections on the year

This feels like crawling into an old, cuddly sweater. Ahhhh. It feels good to step away from the drama of FB and be with my thoughts. FB does make me appreciate how drama free I am. And that's not an accident. I've always shirked the drama, even when it's in my face. When I was in 8th grade I had a "friend" trying to lure me into a fight and she ended up telling me how much it pissed her off that I wouldn't engage.

Which leads me to reflection one. I worry that ever since I made the choice to stay in my marriage and work on it, I've become a little more numb to life in general. I've never been particularly emotional. I cry over anger or frustration sometimes, but not often over sadness. I still feel joy and laugh, but maybe not with as much abandon as I used to. The most troublesome part to me, is that I don't enjoy conversation as much as I used to. Chris will make funny jokes and I'll just smile at him and not respond. When asked how my day was, I rarely expand upon it beyond "fine, busy" or "fine, I got a lot done." Perhaps I've developed some unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Reflection two. My life is pretty darn good. A lot of that is because we aren't overly stressed about finances. Of course money doesn't buy happiness, but lack of it can cause stress. Sure, we still don't have much in savings, and we have some debt, but we never sweat about monthly bills and make good progress on paying down home and vehicle loans. We have more credit card debt than we should, but last year we wrangled that in and aren't putting much on there anymore, so it's getting paid down. We spent a lot of our early years together stressed about money and not making ends meet, so this is such a welcome place to be. I know too many of you out there have faced unexpected unemployment, though, so I don't want to get too comfortable. I also feel like we made the right decision to not have kids. It's the right decision for us and I refuse to let anyone make me feel guilty for it. Although the older I get, the more I try to understand my MIL's perspective of not having grandkids and how it's hard for her.

Reflection three. It's good to feel like I have a true partner again. In the last few years, Chris has worked really hard to re-engage in our marriage. He sat in the room with me when we put Ali down and we cried together. He's helpful and proactive with projects around the house. He used to make comments about not wanting to put effort or money into the house because he thought it didn't need it and he wanted to spend the money on other things that got him OUT of the house (vacations, cars, etc.). I'm back to feeling like he's happy to be at home. That being said, I'm ready to rip his smart phone out of his hands. He's addicted to really stupid games and spends around 2-3 hours per night playing them on the couch. I get annoyed just looking at him playing them.

Reflection four. I'm not as happy at work as I used to be. We added a new employee that's basically making a lot more work for me and she's a talker. She stops by to ask a question and doesn't let it go. We play the staredown game where I'll give her an answer and she waits...expecting me to say more, engage her more on the topic. I just want her to go away. Our boss agrees with me 100% that work isn't as fun and that new woman is too chatty and interupting (but we also agree she brings some amazing value to the workplace). Then again, I think me and my boss have worked together so well for so long that we're just stuck in our ways.

If anyone is reading, thanks for being around for so many years and caring.

April...already?

It's been a busy spring, but I'm thankful for being healthy and happy.

My niece and nephew are college planning. That's been fun to participate in with the family. Chris and I are the only college grads in the immediate family, so we've tried to help out where we can. We did a college tour a few weeks ago with ny niece. She really wants to go there and now has a goal in front of her. Hopefully it helps her current grades. Her math classes are killing her.

We moved the garden closer to the house due to making use of rain barrels and a tomato leaf spot (not the same as blight) epidemic. It required a major soil-improvement project and it was nice that Chris was really interested in being part of that. We used a coconut husk product instead of peat, as peat is not easily renewable and bogs are being stripped, but it took some searching to find it. My purple fingerling potatoes and asaparagus arrived from Gurney's yesterday, so I'll plant those this week. Apple blossoms have already sprung, so we need to also get some frost protection ready, as there are frost warnings tomorrow-the weekend.

My birthday is on Friday and I need to figure out what I want to do. I'm not being a party pooper, I just don't know what sounds fun. It will probably be a "day of" decision.

We got a new couch today. I always hated that our leather couch with two end recliners is not a "snuggle couch." So we got a microfiber and leather combo couch with a chaise at one end. Of course, our living room is now going to be stuffed to the gills because we aren't springing for two new recliners as the other seating in the room. We are keeping the old couch for at least a year. Chris called and said the cats are enjoying the new couch. Loki realized he can get behind the rear cushions (he's a burrower) and Bartleby treats the chaise as his personal throne. He's happy he can stretch his big body out. Ali has thus far ignored it.

Hope you are all well, my friends!

In like "something really awesome!"

Forget the "lamb" or "lion"!
I think most of us have been enjoying this silly-great weather. It was the best St. Patrick's Day I can remember. Walking around downtown Madison was super fun with my pretty green toenails and shorts.

It's the begining of birthday season this week in my house. I'm furiously trying to finish a grant proposal so that I can enjoy Chris's birthday with him.

I won tickets to Elton John for this Thursday, but am considering selling them. Chris doesn't want to go and the Wisconsin-Syracuse game is that night. I could also use the cash to have extra fun on my birthday instead. Such decisions that need to be made so quickly.

Happy March!

Spring is just around the corner! I've been busy at home and work. Overwhelmed at work, but kind of a good balance at home.

We are still helping my dad with his house. It's looking good for probably only $200 and some elbow grease invested thus far. Two new light fixtures, a cleaning product for cabinets, some Old English, a boatload of white and cream inexpensive paint, a 2.99 beautiful cream throw pillow on clearance, some plastic lemons and four new rugs are the investment thus far. I've taken some things from our house to "stage" at his house. It's been kind of fun. Next is carpet cleaning.

Every weekend in March we have something fun going on:
-Trip to some brewpubs and bars in Iowa with friends this Saturday and taking my niece prom dress shopping on Sunday.
-Brewery tour with my sister to one we haven't yet been to in WI
-St. Patrick's Day!
-Chris's birthday and my niece's birthday (same day). We are going to see The Hunger Games together. :-)
-My sister's birthday

Party on, Wayne.