- She talks constantly and doesn't give you time to respond to what she said, so it's not really a conversation as much as her just rambling.
- If you do get to ask a question or tell her a story, she doesn't listen to what you've said and usually gives a nonchallant "yeah" response or "it's just been lovely weather" to most statements. This makes me wonder if she's having some hearing loss issues and is trying to cover it up.
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
MIL phone calls
I write my MIL letters so I can get out of talking on the phone with her. Plus, I think it's nice for retirees to get letters in the days of so much junk mail. In the past two months, she's decided to start calling my cell phone. I usually let it go to voicemail, as it's the middle of day and some of us are working, not waiting to chat about nothing with their retired MIL. Why do I dread talking to her? There are two main reasons:
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6 comments:
Mr. Puffy always answers the phone at home, in case it's his mom, which is often. Enough said.
I called my mom every week in the last few years of her life and that was not too often.
I will avoid talking to my MIL if Tom is home but she doesn't call often because she is still of that old-fashioned mind-set that long distance calls are expensive & important.
When old people call (including my oldest sister now) I always talk REALLY loud because they will never admit to not hearing well. It cuts down on the random answers. Of course shouting into the phone is not a very good option if she calls you at work. :)
Maybe she is lonely?
Mother is a stream of consciousness talker. You don't actually have to ackowledge what she's saying. She lives alone with her cat so I understand to some degree. Once I figured out that I could turn her into a dull background noise, we began to get along better. We have many phone "conversations"
My MIL is another story. Here's the conversation.
Me - Hi Mamma
Mamma - Hi Fi (in a depressed voice)
Me - What's new?
Mamma - Oh, nothing (in a depressed voice)
Me - Did you want to talk to Carlos?
Mamma - Only if he wants to (in a depressed voice)
Me - Honey! Your mom is on the phone.
Maybe I just need to pull an MC and adjust my thinking.
MIL is indeed, lonely, but frankly she's made her bed. She chooses to live over 3 hours from us and over 2 hours from her other son. All her friends live in two other areas (coincidentally closer to us). We've told her she should move, but she thinks it brave and bold of her to live in the deserted northwoods and live off the land as much as possible (like HER mother did). Forget the fact she can't take care of the place by herself.
I'd like it if she moved closer (remind me I said this when it actually happens) because we can stop over for short visits instead of having to visit for a marathon three days each time.
My parents: often. I work with my family.
My in-laws: My in-laws are nice. They have quirks, yes, and the recent family drama resulted in more conversations with my MIL than I am used to, but honestly, I'm lucky, I have great in-laws and I like them. They're not big on calling on the phone just to chat, but my MIL does, occasionally.
Now that they've moved an hour away we make it a point to go visit them once a month.
Parents and Parents In Law do not count for me.
Other In-laws.
I think Caller ID is the absolute greatest invention next to Tivo. I never, ever, ever, answer a cal from SIL unless she has my child with her. There are some reasons, the two biggest being:
1. I really don't care about her natural healing remedies or light therapy. It's all bunk, and I have no time to deal with it.
2. I am terrified that she is going to want to live with us, and I should not be the one who has to say "no." Long story there.
I talk to Michael's two brothers every so often. We sometimes call one brother and go to dinner with him and his girlfriend. And I adore his older brother. We might talk monthly.
The one brother's girlfriend is very nice, but she is super controlling of BIL. I feel like, at his age and with two divorces, he shouldn't take her crap.
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