Reflections on the year

This feels like crawling into an old, cuddly sweater. Ahhhh. It feels good to step away from the drama of FB and be with my thoughts. FB does make me appreciate how drama free I am. And that's not an accident. I've always shirked the drama, even when it's in my face. When I was in 8th grade I had a "friend" trying to lure me into a fight and she ended up telling me how much it pissed her off that I wouldn't engage.

Which leads me to reflection one. I worry that ever since I made the choice to stay in my marriage and work on it, I've become a little more numb to life in general. I've never been particularly emotional. I cry over anger or frustration sometimes, but not often over sadness. I still feel joy and laugh, but maybe not with as much abandon as I used to. The most troublesome part to me, is that I don't enjoy conversation as much as I used to. Chris will make funny jokes and I'll just smile at him and not respond. When asked how my day was, I rarely expand upon it beyond "fine, busy" or "fine, I got a lot done." Perhaps I've developed some unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Reflection two. My life is pretty darn good. A lot of that is because we aren't overly stressed about finances. Of course money doesn't buy happiness, but lack of it can cause stress. Sure, we still don't have much in savings, and we have some debt, but we never sweat about monthly bills and make good progress on paying down home and vehicle loans. We have more credit card debt than we should, but last year we wrangled that in and aren't putting much on there anymore, so it's getting paid down. We spent a lot of our early years together stressed about money and not making ends meet, so this is such a welcome place to be. I know too many of you out there have faced unexpected unemployment, though, so I don't want to get too comfortable. I also feel like we made the right decision to not have kids. It's the right decision for us and I refuse to let anyone make me feel guilty for it. Although the older I get, the more I try to understand my MIL's perspective of not having grandkids and how it's hard for her.

Reflection three. It's good to feel like I have a true partner again. In the last few years, Chris has worked really hard to re-engage in our marriage. He sat in the room with me when we put Ali down and we cried together. He's helpful and proactive with projects around the house. He used to make comments about not wanting to put effort or money into the house because he thought it didn't need it and he wanted to spend the money on other things that got him OUT of the house (vacations, cars, etc.). I'm back to feeling like he's happy to be at home. That being said, I'm ready to rip his smart phone out of his hands. He's addicted to really stupid games and spends around 2-3 hours per night playing them on the couch. I get annoyed just looking at him playing them.

Reflection four. I'm not as happy at work as I used to be. We added a new employee that's basically making a lot more work for me and she's a talker. She stops by to ask a question and doesn't let it go. We play the staredown game where I'll give her an answer and she waits...expecting me to say more, engage her more on the topic. I just want her to go away. Our boss agrees with me 100% that work isn't as fun and that new woman is too chatty and interupting (but we also agree she brings some amazing value to the workplace). Then again, I think me and my boss have worked together so well for so long that we're just stuck in our ways.

If anyone is reading, thanks for being around for so many years and caring.

April...already?

It's been a busy spring, but I'm thankful for being healthy and happy.

My niece and nephew are college planning. That's been fun to participate in with the family. Chris and I are the only college grads in the immediate family, so we've tried to help out where we can. We did a college tour a few weeks ago with ny niece. She really wants to go there and now has a goal in front of her. Hopefully it helps her current grades. Her math classes are killing her.

We moved the garden closer to the house due to making use of rain barrels and a tomato leaf spot (not the same as blight) epidemic. It required a major soil-improvement project and it was nice that Chris was really interested in being part of that. We used a coconut husk product instead of peat, as peat is not easily renewable and bogs are being stripped, but it took some searching to find it. My purple fingerling potatoes and asaparagus arrived from Gurney's yesterday, so I'll plant those this week. Apple blossoms have already sprung, so we need to also get some frost protection ready, as there are frost warnings tomorrow-the weekend.

My birthday is on Friday and I need to figure out what I want to do. I'm not being a party pooper, I just don't know what sounds fun. It will probably be a "day of" decision.

We got a new couch today. I always hated that our leather couch with two end recliners is not a "snuggle couch." So we got a microfiber and leather combo couch with a chaise at one end. Of course, our living room is now going to be stuffed to the gills because we aren't springing for two new recliners as the other seating in the room. We are keeping the old couch for at least a year. Chris called and said the cats are enjoying the new couch. Loki realized he can get behind the rear cushions (he's a burrower) and Bartleby treats the chaise as his personal throne. He's happy he can stretch his big body out. Ali has thus far ignored it.

Hope you are all well, my friends!

In like "something really awesome!"

Forget the "lamb" or "lion"!
I think most of us have been enjoying this silly-great weather. It was the best St. Patrick's Day I can remember. Walking around downtown Madison was super fun with my pretty green toenails and shorts.

It's the begining of birthday season this week in my house. I'm furiously trying to finish a grant proposal so that I can enjoy Chris's birthday with him.

I won tickets to Elton John for this Thursday, but am considering selling them. Chris doesn't want to go and the Wisconsin-Syracuse game is that night. I could also use the cash to have extra fun on my birthday instead. Such decisions that need to be made so quickly.

Happy March!

Spring is just around the corner! I've been busy at home and work. Overwhelmed at work, but kind of a good balance at home.

We are still helping my dad with his house. It's looking good for probably only $200 and some elbow grease invested thus far. Two new light fixtures, a cleaning product for cabinets, some Old English, a boatload of white and cream inexpensive paint, a 2.99 beautiful cream throw pillow on clearance, some plastic lemons and four new rugs are the investment thus far. I've taken some things from our house to "stage" at his house. It's been kind of fun. Next is carpet cleaning.

Every weekend in March we have something fun going on:
-Trip to some brewpubs and bars in Iowa with friends this Saturday and taking my niece prom dress shopping on Sunday.
-Brewery tour with my sister to one we haven't yet been to in WI
-St. Patrick's Day!
-Chris's birthday and my niece's birthday (same day). We are going to see The Hunger Games together. :-)
-My sister's birthday

Party on, Wayne.

Valentine's Day prep

I woke up this morning a few minutes early so I could shave my legs, since it's Valentine's Day. Otherwise, I hate to admit that I tend to only shave on the weekends in the winter or when I wear a dress/skirt. *shame*

Chris mentioned he'd like the Bon Iver cd, so I downloaded it to my iPod (which we share songs between ours) and had it cued up on the speakers in the bathroom this morning. This made me late.

So, in my rush to lotion up my newly shaven legs, I forgot to put on my wedding ring. And it's Valentine's Day. At least it's not my anniversary.

I also wanted to wear the necklace he gave me a few years ago. I forgot.

Way to start the day out on a bad note!

Things that make me happy

This donut that I'm eating this morning. I haven't had a donut in about six months and this tastes sinful.

Planning the summer vacation. Now that it's February, July doesn't seem so far away.

Planning to plant a peach tree. It might die or never fruit, but right now I'm enchanted by the idea of tree grown peaches in my yard.

Helping my dad get his house ready to sell. It's the house I lived in from birth until I moved out on my own. It's good to spruce it up. He's moving in with his fiance, and it's hard for him to give up the space of his own, so it's been a good bonding experience for us. I'm also now the keeper of many old family heirlooms. Pressure's on.

Mild winter weather.

Doing research site visits. I love research where I go out and spend time in nursing homes or interviewing care recipients in the community. It reminds me that my job makes a difference. Tomorrow I begin a two year stint of long site visits across the country. This one is in Wisconsin-our only "close" site.

Blacklight flashlights. I feel better knowing there was only one cat pee spot. And in Ali's defense, she has kidney failure and peed where we'd put her litterbox when she had knee surgery and was confined in the bedroom. Using stuff called "Anti Icky Poo" to clean it also made me smile.

The Voice! My friend Mark co-wrote a song that was on a snipit last night. That made my Voice love even more intense.

In honor of Boo turning 40

What I've liked about my 30s

• More financial stability
• Settling into a house
• The ability to fit in with several age groups, young and old
• Feeling more confident in my career
  

What I've disliked about my 30s

• Hairs that pop up in random spots
• Still having some acne
• Retirement is REALLY far away
• Not having as much in savings as I'd like
• Doing less spontaneous fun stuff
• More responsibility at work-spending nights and weekends working or worrying

Entertainment lineup

What I'm watching:
Movies Contraband, Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Salt, The Italian Job, Blue Valentine
TV shows Top Chef, The New Girl, Modern Family, Big Bang Theory, Football

What I'm reading:
Girl with the Dragon Tattoo trilogy, Emperor of all Maladies: A Biography of Cancer

What I'm cooking:
Chocolate chip cookies, OTCC recipes, paninis

What I'm doing:
Starting Pinterest, planning the spring garden, hemming and mending on a borrowed sewing machine, hauling branches to a giant burn pile for next weekend, stretching and basic exercises

Alone Time

Ahhhhh...I've caught up on some needed alone time. Other than two or three short business trips, and my weekend visit to Carey, Chris and I have been joined at the hip this year. And after an 11 day vacation, followed by a few days off around the holidays, I was feeling a little "crowded." When we are home all day, I often get asked two-three times, "What are you doing?" Sometimes I don't have an answer for that, other than "going to the bathroom," etc. So after a few times, my stress level raises a little.

This week I worked from home one day just to get a little quiet time, then today Chris went hunting around 11:00 a.m. and it's almost 9:00 p.m. and he's still out. I enjoyed the day to myself. But tomorrow, I think I'll be ready for together time again.

I did exciting things today such as:

• Went to local gym open house
• Took a long walk outside (it was in the 40s!)
• Baked three OTCC recipes: kale chips, cinnamon rolls and a pasta casserole, plus some pumpkin granola for my yogurt
• Cleaned out all the inside compartments of the washer (fabric softner & bleach...how to they get so dirty?!)
• Gave some plants a haircut
• 2 loads of laundry
• Sewed up Chris's sweater & hemmed a pair of pj pants
• Cleaned kitchen floor (mistakenly before I made the cinnamon rolls)
• Cleaned up the deep fryer (that was in the garage) from last weekend's football party
• Found cat poop & cleaned the carpet around it and fabric cat toy that was hiding it (Ali's constipation issues make this an occasional issue)
• Cleaned a spare bedroom closet

Now, I think it's time to eat a cinnamon roll and watch some tv...there's gotta be something on at 9 p.m. That's when all the nudity and swear words come out, right?

Can you....?

Random questions for you. Can you....
1. Thread a sewing machine without instructions?
2. Bake good chocolate chip cookies without a recipe, if you had to?
3. Paint your toenails and make it look like a salon job?
4. Fairly easily drive up to your state capitol building with no directions?

What to look forward to in 2012?

I need something to look forward to in 2012.

Gym Membership?
Pro: It's healthy and fun, at least for awhile! I can get partial reimbursement.
Con: I already have a free "gym" (the treadmill sucks) in my basement (and it's in my unfinished basement) and the novelty will likely wear off the gym membership.

Vacation?
Pro: We have plans to either go to the Portland brewfest in July or to do a brew tour around Vermont with our friends.
Con: That's a long way off.

Summer landscaping/gardening?
Pro: We are moving the garden this year to be more convenient, and because I can't get rid of a tomato leaf spot that crept into the garden a few years ago. I'm looking forward to planning that out.
Con: We need to finish off one big project: the back garage stoop. It's basically adding some decking and a step, then finishing off with some rocks and low maintenance plants/bushes. It's a crappy area-shady and in need of some height. I hate Arborvite, and refuse to plant it there. My other options are limited.

New hobby?
Pro: I need to buy a sewing machine to deal with some basic hemming, etc. That could lead to some other fun decorative things. I also have a stockpile of some good cozy material that would make great pajamas. It's already about 15 years old, because I've never taken the sewing initiative.
Con: Cost and I don't know how to sew.

Happy Holidays

We are just back from a 10 day Caribbean cruise. It was extremely relaxing! You may notice my new Facebook profile pic. But of course, no vacation goes unpunished. I have two grant proposals coming due, two grant reports due, two project budgets to revise for reapproval, and of course, very little done for the holidays!

My holiday to do list:
1) Cards-this will be done sometime before Jan. 5th. :-)
2) A few more outdoor decorations
3) Grocery shopping
4) A few more gifts-did a lot of shopping last night with no car, just the bus. My arms were sore.

Chris baked cookies for me last weekend so we had time to join friends for the (diappointing) Packer game. Wasn't that nice? We did peanut blossoms, fudge and toffee.

For Christmas with my FIL, et al, we are repeating the cooking class Chris and I took in Antigua. It's called "Cooking with Rum." I'm buying the groceries, the instructor gave us the recipes, and we are all going to cook the food. There are six of us, and I have a reasonably large kitchen, so it should be fun. We'll have 1-2-3-4 rum punch to drink (parts lime juice, sugar, rum and water) and finish with espresso martinis. They were my favorite after dinner drink on the cruise. We've now had 30 of the 34 "designer" martinis on the ship's martini menu. :-)

I hope everyone has a very happy holiday season. Cheers!

Exciting week!

• Recall efforts against our Gov. started this week. Hurrah!




• I went to physical therapy for my neck at 8:30 this morning. Considering my pain comes on later in the day, this was kind of silly. It became the "how bad can we make Kim hurt in a few minutes" show.




• I fly to Boston on Friday and will be there for the weekend. I only have to give a poster presentation, which is mega easy, so it's low stress.




• I'm buying turkey breasts tonight for next week's Thanksgiving. We are just doing turkey sandwiches Saturday night with my family (with Chris's family on Thanksgiving day), so I thought breasts made the most sense, especially since most of us eat white meat. Target has them on sale for .99/lb, which is cheap for the breasts.
  
  


• I'm going to buy several non perishables this week for the food pantry. There are a lot of good sales.
  



• I treated myself to Starbuck's in the cafeteria this monrning instead of making my own coffee.
  
  

Ok, so maybe this wasn't very exciting.

Going blonde.

Last weekend I took the plunge and went blonde.

Woops, forgot to add a few words in. Let's try this again. Last weekend I took the plunge and went TO SEE THE blonde. Yes, that one. The one in San Francisco.

I hadn't seen any OTers in awhile, and my boss gave me a $200 flight voucher that needed to be used by mid-Nov., so I watched airfare some desirable locales. San Fran was the cheapest, so we made some last minute arrangements for me to go see Carey and Michelle.

And when in Rome, you do as the Romans do. So, Michelle took us to bingo where Carey and I ate a hot dog and donut for dinner. :-) I was a bingo version and really hoped to be able to yell Bingo. Well, I got to do that and more!

Did you know Bingo isn't just like a few games of straight vertical, horizontal and diagonal wins? Oh no, there were like 30 games, each with a twist. Sometimes you were looking for a "postage stamp," sometimes a "kite" shape, etc. Cripes it was tough to keep track. I think bingo will be too confusing when I get old. My favorite game was when they pulled a ticket (you got entered when you bought your bingo cards at the start) for the "Bingo Queen." The bingo queen gets to pick a number, and everytime that number comes up, she or he wins $10. Carey was the bingo queen! So everytime her number came up we got to yell, "Pay the Queen!" And later, Michelle and I each hit a bingo and we all got to yell "Bingo!" Big excitement! LOL!

Saturday was our "Lush and LUSH" tour in the city. We hit the Gold Dust and had drinks with their newly engaged friends. Then it was across the street to LUSH, where I was for about an hour, doing hair product research. I ended up with some free samples and am loving the Recon conditioner. Carey came over with Michelle's credit card for her belated birthday shopping and bought the store. :-)

After that, we went to the Rouge Ale House, as some friends told me it was great. Well, did you know Union Street isn't near Union Square? And there are A LOT of hills between where we were and Union Street. So we hopped a cable car and it began to rain. The cable car took an unexpected turn and we ended up still having to walk the same distance, but it was all downhill. :-) At Rouge, we got a VIP visitor: Tabitha (motormouth)! Despite the lousiest service ever, we still had fun chatting and decided to head back to Carey's instead of searching for another bar in the rain. Tabitha was a trooper-staying late and driving back home in the rain at midnight. Ten years ago we'd have probably been super sloshed and loud. Instead, we just had a great night having some cocktails and telling stories.

Sunday was super lazy football day. Carey made a really yummy fritatta for breakfast, despite the burning smell that took over the house at one point. :-)

I really hope to make it back in 2012. I love these girls and love San Francisco. Thanks to Carey and Michelle for the great hospitality and good luck in Vegas this weekend!

Distracted Today

I'm in one of those moods where I can't focus on the work that needs to be done. Argh. So, you get a new blog post.

I'm getting grumpy about the amount of tv our household watches. The number of mediocre hour long shows is getting on my nerves. Can't we just read sometimes? I say "we" because we have no good spot for quiet reading in our house when the tv is done. It's reason enough for me to want to finish the basement, but that's like a $10K solution to a minor problem. So, I downloaded a free app that plays rain, wind, waves, etc. and listen to that while I read in the four season room. I can't listen to music and read very well. My brain gets too distracted.

Nolay is watching the following hour longs (I know I'll forget some):
Terra Nova
Body of Proof
Hawaii 5-0
Grimm
Pan Am (I also watch this)
Sons of Anarchy (again, I watch this)
NCIS sometimes (or as I call it, Hawaii 5-0 lite)
Survivor
The Mentalist

I think he's given up on Blue Bloods and thank goodness didn't get into TAR this season. Thank goodness Charlie's Angles is over, as he was also recording that. This is in addition to about six half-hour comedies. That's a lot of tv, even with a DVR.

Did you know?

I never thought about it, but as I was making pumpkin bread this morning, I read the last part of the recipe: "Cool, wrap is plastic wrap. Let sit overnight before slicing." Heck no. I want it today. I get that it sets and slices better the next day, and even tastes yummier, but I can't wait.

In other news, I'm learning about the effing Cloud. I got a new iTouch (after losing my other on a plane) and put the "Find my iPod/Phone" app on it. It requires me to use the effing Cloud. Maybe I'll grow to like it, but right now it's just one more thing that requires me to set up an account.

Is it true that physical therapists are trained torturers?

I have had pretty severe neck pain off and on for years. The latest bout was terrible. But then they gave me a shot in the leg of a muscle relaxer and it mostly better within 30 minutes!

Anywho, the Dr. gave me a referral to physical therapy. I've never been to PT, but have heard the torture horror stories. Admittedly, I've been putting off the appointment. A nice massage sounds better.

So what are your PT experiences?

If I post, they will come

I'm sticking with the theory that I just need to post more often and you'll show up. :-)

I'm in Holland, Michigan tonight. I work for the state, I never get wined and dined. However, we are building a nursing building on campus (right now we are stuck in a small area of the hospital and share some classrooms with hospital staff and the medical school). So, peeps are interested in our business. A major office furniture manufacturer that works with our interior design firm is showing off their stuff. Thus, we were flown over on a private Gulfstream, given lunch, drinks, a wine pairing dinner and more drinks at a brewpub.

I'm feeling spoiled and frankly, loving it. It's something I don't get to experience in my normal work.

Tomorrow I'm going to see my MIL, so today, I'm enjoying the bliss.

For the "new" peeps

I won't call you old peeps. :-)

I've really missed our old blogland. I feel like we all shared a little deeper connection here. Thus, I'm pretty happy even when someone pops back in for only a bit. I fret about people when I don't hear much, or even just hear the "surface" chatter. We all have those quiet underswells in life that are often good to muse about here.

I'm riding a wave right now of good things. Nothing great, just enjoying a period of contentment. I'll start traveling more for work soon, and that concerns me, but for now, I'm enjoying the present before worrying about the future.

Of course, though, politics has me down. I'm kind of in a half-attentive mode now, as it's all the same ugliness. We have Herb Kohl's Senate seat up for election, as he's retiring. He was such a good advocate for health care and the elderly, and our state. I didn't agree with all his decisions, but he was a solid, hardworking Senator. There is no shortage of candidates coming out for his seat, so it's going to get ugly.

In random news, I'm trying to find a place to spend a $200 United voucher before the end of Nov. I want to go somewhere where I can stay with friends and spend very little over that $200. Not an easy task.

In related news, I lost my iPod Touch on a plane recently. Bummer.

Something Totally About Work

I'm resigning from my position effective Oct. 2nd.

Because I was hired into a "new" position with the appropriate title and pay, doing what I'm doing now! I hate that I had to apply, but finally! This was a long, hard road. I'm downplaying this with the family and friends, so thought a little online celebration was in order.

*dances*